Think Your Way to Wealth » Relationships and Money

Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy…..

RC — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 03:41:50 +0000

Money can’t buy happiness, as the saying goes. And as much as we sometimes like to think it can or that it will, it really usually doesn’t. It can probably make you happier sometimes, in the short term, but long term, happiness usually comes from living life the way you want, relationships, and most importantly, from inside of us.

Here are 8 things that money can buy- not physical things, but abstract ones:

1.) It can provide a feeling of security. Money is a big source of worry and stress for many people, often because of a lack of financial security.

2.) It can buy food, shelter, and clothing. The basics.

3.) It can get you (or a friend) out of a jam-especially cash.

4.) It can put a smile on someone else’s face– especially a friend, a child, or someone in need.

5.) It can pay for an education (although the individual must want to learn).

6.) Occasionally, it can buy you time- not more time, usually, but sometimes just enough to get what you need done.

7.) Money can provide you options. When we are strapped for cash, sometimes we can’t make the choices we want. It could be as mundane as having to buy the cheapest item we want instead of the better value, or it could be something much more important or valuable to us.

8.) It can provide freedom-financial freedom. Freedom to walk away from things you don’t want to do, or a job that you can’t stand working at but might be doing so solely because you need the money.

There are other non-physical things that money can buy as well, but it doesn’t mean you have to focus on money or that your well-being needs to be centered on it. But taking care of your finances, saving money, and spending consciously can provide some positive benefits, to be sure.

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Living On One Income- Tips for Going From Two Incomes to One

RC — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 04:48:34 +0000

Living on one income can be a scary thought, particularly if it not something you choose to do but is forced upon you due to the loss of a job or other life event. Even if it is totally planned, it can be a daunting thought that a portion of your household income (even if it is not a large portion) will soon not be coming in to help pay the bills.

I know a thing or two about living on one income, as my wife and I have been a one income family for a little over 4 years now and my wife has been a stay at home mom (a very hardworking SAHM, I might add) since that time.

My wife didn’t get fired or laid off, but the circumstances at the time led us to make the choice that she would stay home with our young son, and we were ready for another child as well. The event that led us to make that decision was Hurricane Katrina, as our childcare provider’s house got flooded, and it was a difficult time for trying to find another daycare or sitter with all of the flooding and damage in the area. So we decided my wife would stay at home with our son, and we would start trying to expand our family.

While things have not always gone perfectly, I have managed to learn a few things which seem to make going from two breadwinners to a sole supporter financially a little easier:

Prepare financially, if possible- While you may not always be able to plan things out exactly how you want them to happen- I know we certainly weren’t planning on taking the plunge from 2 incomes to 1 before Hurricane Katrina hit the New Orleans area- if at all possible, take care of any debt, especially credit card debt, and build a healthy emergency fund if possible.

Maintain healthy communication- When you have a significant lifestyle change, such as going from two incomes to one, it is essential to communicate with your husband or wife. No one can read minds, so it is important to discuss you expectations, fears, and other thoughts with your husband or wife to make sure you are on the same page if possible, or at least know where the other person is coming from. This is extremely important if one person has lost their job, as they may be quite upset about it, and may be feeling upset or depressed about it. Not communicating to them can make things even worse.

Manage Expectations- Don’t expect that things will go flawlessly with your finances when your income is reduced. Roadblocks and unexpected financial situations can arise, but if you expect them and prepare for them it can make the transition easier.

Cut back on your spending- even if you feel like you can make do living the same way on one income, cutting back can allow you to save a little more for anything unexpected. Some things that you used to have to pay someone else to do you may be able to do yourself.

Pay extra attention to your finances, especially at the beginning- When making a big change, it is better to err on the side of caution when it comes to the amount of time you spend managing your money and how much you pay attention to your finances. Once you get comfortable with your new income amount, you can get back to your normal routine.

One interesting thing about living on one income vs. being a dual income family is that you may actually not be in such a bad position should you need additional income. The stay at home spouse can pitch in where necessary, working occasionally, part time, or even going back to work full time should the situation warrant it. In a dual income household with two people working full time already, it can be a difficult thing to do something similar as working in addition to a full time job is quite difficult to do.

Do any of you support your family on one income? What tips do you have for someone going from a dual income to a single income?

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When is it OK to Hide Money-or Keep a Money Secret- from Your Husband or Wife?

RC — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 11:12:20 +0000

It’s a classic from sitcoms, and I even remember it showing up in cartoons when I was a child- After the husband makes some bone-headed mistake that costs the family their grocery or rent money- which they cannot afford to lose- by buying something foolish or getting scammed by a con man, the wife pulls out the proverbial “cookie jar” and has enough money to take care of the family emergency caused by the husband’s mistake.

I am sure there were some cartoon episodes where George Jetson or Fred Flintstone did this very same thing. And for the younger, hip generation (which I probably include myself erroneously , I remember an episode or two of the The Simpsons where Marge pulls out the jar from her hair and saves the day after one of Homer Simpson’s escapades.

But is it really OK to hide money from your spouse?

There are certain cases I am sure, when it is absolutely justified, like a wife planning on leaving
an abusive husband, etc. But what about a seemingly healthy relationship?

I am sure it happens a lot more than people think.

And quite a bit of it my not be intentional. Everyone is different. One person may see a need to stockpile or stash some cash, while the other feels perfectly secure with their finances.

Personally I don’t really have a problem with it, if it is done with one spouse’s allowance, or fun money, or if it is done in small increments over time with no malicious intent, I don’t see the big deal.

But if one person is taking significant amounts out of the household budget for some specific, secret purpose, or even for an undefined future use, I do not think that it is a good idea for a relationship.

What is your take on hiding money from your spouse?

Is it OK in moderation or as long as there is no sinister intent? Or is it never a good idea–or somewhere in between?

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Discussing Money Issues With Your Wife or Husband

RC — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 12:03:07 +0000

Usually, but not always, when a couple is having money problems, one of the two people in the relationship comes to the realization that things are not working financially, and something needs to change before the other one does. It doesn’t have to be major money problems, but it could be. It could be large amounts of debt, or it could be that you want to just start saving more for retirement, so you want to cut back on some of your budget categories or unaccounted-for spending.

Whether it is debt, overspending, or not saving enough, it is very easy for one person to accuse the other (whether directly or by thinking the other person is to blame) and for the discussion to quickly disintegrate into a full blown argument. It is mentioned all of the time, but it is true. Money is one of the major causes of divorce.

While my wife and I are not always on the same page, we do have discussions about money these days instead of arguments. We have common goals for our money, and can discuss them without things getting heated. Here are some tips for discussing money related issues with your spouse or partner.

Have a discussion, not an argument- It is very easy to start off with an accusatory tone when talking about problems with money. However, it is very likely that your partner will become defensive, and not really listen to the underlying message, but instead try to defend him or herself. Don’t accuse or argue, just discuss the issues in a calm manner.

Tell them what your goals are, and why you have them- Just saving money or not spending so much is a good idea, but what are your ultimate goals? Saving for a dream home, early retirement, or next year’s vacation is a concrete goal, and it’s likely that your spouse is probably interested in those types of goals as well.

Ask them what their goals are-Don’t focus only on yourself and your goals. What are your husband or wife’s goals? Are your goals more important than theirs? Are the similar? Try to compromise when possible.

Plan your future together- Marriage is a partnership-one person can’t dominate the relationship, whether it is money or the TV remote. (I know, I’ve tried to be in charge of the remote-it does not work!) Talking about your dreams for the future together can help you plan your future together.

Discuss solutions together- Don’t just tell them what you think the solution is, ask for their input. By solving problems together, you get your husband, wife, or partner involved in the changes, and they won’t fell like you are dominating the issues.

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